Today, I am in a good place within my soul. I am where I am meant to be, and I am going to create my own happiness, based on what I feel, what I believe and what I want. I am proud to be me! I am honoured to have been chosen to be me! I celebrate that God saw something amazing in me, to give me gifts, to give me family, to give me LIFE! I am good! I am happy! I am grounded! Thank you, doesn’t seem to be enough to say, but I am filled with gratitude. I have seen what I am capable of, and I have found the belief in me. God keeps sending the right people to me, at the right time, who keep encouraging me, loving me, inspiring me, praying for me. I asked for a miracle, and he sent it to me – in 50 years of life!
I learned two amazing things about myself from strangers this past week.
The first, was from a new client who believes that I need to get into public speaking and share my story. With everyone in Canada, and he’s going to try to make it happen. He used to be a teacher and he said something profound. He goes “You must have been in the hall a lot as a child.” The truth stopped me cold. “You are gregarious – you are bursting with ideas, you are creative to the core and you must have driven your teachers nuts. We were both raised in generations where this was frowned up. Kids were expected to sit, be quiet and learn. For you, that would have been impossible. You need to know, that I would have enjoyed having you in my classroom.” His words made me very happy. I am bursting with creative energy and I am grateful for the opportunities to use them.
The other piece flash of insight came last night. I used to think I would be dead by 50. Another new client tole me that she to believe she would be dead by 40. When 41 came, a friend of hers asked how she felt and when she explained what she had believed, this friend pointed out that her prophecy had indeed, come true. This friend pointed out how a complete life change took place; where her old self died and her new life began. Talk about an epiphany. In a way, I did die last year. The old Marianne. After years of strife, I made a decision to kill off the old, and create a better, happier me. I love the new me! I am hilarious, I am free to be me, and I am confident in who I am now. I see my life very differently now. Even the bad stuff, has a very different meaning and light. Ya, I still have moments, 49 years of self-doubt will do that to a person. But that is it – they are moments. They come, I self-reflect, I learn (hopefully) and I move on. I embrace those lessons now, because they are teaching me who I am.
I am not a victim, I am not a survivor – I am a CONQUEROR.
Life is good!